The saying “sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you” probably does not ring true for most us us. I know from experience that words actually cut deeper wounds then a stick ever could. Regrettably I have been on both the receiving end of someones hurtful words and have been on the other side and ended up saying things I later regret. Over the past weekend I was in a situation where I said and acted in a way that was not representative of how I actually felt about the person (I totally overreached about something that in the long run was really minor and ended up not speaking to this person for way too long!).
It took a while of internal stewing, until I finally got over my ego, licked my wounds to muster up the courage to say “Im Sorry”. In hindsight it seems silly to have to muster up courage to apologize to someone who is really important to you, but raise your hand if you have been afraid to do something because of the potential risk OR what if what COULD happen might really suck?! And a lot of times we end up not doing things and missing out on opportunities because we are afraid; and after a bit of calculating, I realized that this happens to me all to often! So instead of letting it continue, it was time to take the bull by the proverbial horns, and I did the best thing I could and said “IM SORRY”.
If you find yourself in a similar situation then here are a few ways to approach it, so try whatever you feel most comfortable with, and make sure to acknowledge the hurt or damage done, recognize your role in the event, ask for forgiveness, and commit to trying not to do it again:
- Give them a call or meet them face to face
- Write them a card
I am always a fan of face to face interaction as I think it breaks big barriers, but if you need a bit of an intro to open up the communication flood gates then a card is a great approach.
Just a final note… aside from having this person back in my life there were a few other lessons learned:
- Take a risk otherwise you don’t know what you are missing out on
- It can be a huge relief to take ownership of your actions and say IM SORRY
- No one is perfect, but the trick is to learn from our mistakes and try to avoid them in the future
Post by Jody Rebak
One of the first things our parents teach us in life is to always say our “Please” and “Thank You’s”. So as I am building my new business – I find myself asking this: “As I have gotten older, have I ever forgotten to thank the people who could potentially have the most impact or influence on my life?!” The answer is unfortunately YES.
As I start to think about ALL the people who have helped me get to where I am today (teachers, friends, parents, bosses, work colleagues, the gal who blends my booster juice in the morning, all of YOU for reading this), I realize that all of those people have previously opened doors for me that I may not have opened otherwise, and since they have done it once - and for many of them multiple times – why wouldn’t they do it again? So before shutting the door in my own face and assuming they won’t, why not try to keep as many open as possible! Not only does this benefit me, but it also sends a powerful and meaningful message… that their efforts have NOT gone unnoticed.
Developing deeper relationships with connections is absolutely critical to both personal growth and when growing your business. It shows that you are personable, and easy to connect with, and in most cases give you a head start when it comes time to expand.
A “Thank You” gesture can come in SO many different forms: something as simple as a text message, or phone call, or as big as something like a host or hostess gift for someone who has you over for dinner. Why not do it more often!
Here are my favourites:
1. The 24 hour rule: after a dinner at a friends, attending an interview, or meeting a potential client, make sure to say “Thank You” when you leave, but also wait 24 hours and say it again! Waiting that extra bit of time shows that you are still thinking about how FAB the party was, how excited you are about the potential job, or how thankful you are to have a new client. Its surprising how much the little things can make such a difference.
2. Old fashioned “Thank You” notes: remember how exciting it was to be passed a surprise note in school?! Old fashioned paper “Thank You” notes can be just as exciting. They are great because a. they are inexpensive (usually you can by blank thank you card packs on sale for under $5), and b. people tend to cherish things like that. They are such a great fit for occasions like:
- Graduating high school and thanking your teachers.
- Moving to a new job. You don’t want your boss or co-workers to forget what a great job you did!
- Thanking someone who did you a favour.
Also note that both of these cost ALMOST nothing financially but can have a huge impact!
Post by Jody Rebak